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I'm not a fan of boats. I'm not sure on my feet on any of them. So I usually avoid them. But after some begging and promises that I would have fun I relented and went this weekend with David uncle. Mike. I like mike and it wasn't his fault but never again.
So let me paint the picture. It's a really nice day. Sunny, warm, no clouds. Water smooth and very calm on the Ohio river.
I should of known when I lost my flip flop in the mud I should of turned back. But the lure of fantastic mixed drinks were waiting onboard for me. So I carried on.
I got on the boat and stored my bag in the cabin below. Oh yes this is a 38 ft cabin cruiser. Potty kitchen fridge 2 beds dinette Yep were big pimpin. I fold my clothes and apply my sunscreen while we push off and get underway. Head topside with a drink in hand and take a seat at the bow ( wait the bow is the back right?). Stretch my leg out over the engine hatch and lay my head back and start to enjoy the sun and breeze the moving boat is providing. I raise my head to comment to mike "this boat thing isn't so bad after all" when I see smoke swirling around my feet. At this point I go into full on panic mode I start yelling at mike. "Smoke. Smoke. Mike smoke" he hollers back no thanks I'm good. I've now thrown my drink overboard. And start yelling " Fire FIRE" and Mike shuts the boat down quickly. I do a face plant right into the bench in front of me. Brenda Mikes wife down below drops the adult beverage pitcher from the sudden drop in speed. David comes running up the stairs hits his head on the hatch Mikes not worried about my face, shoves me down the stairs on top of David who at this point is in full on fighting mode. Mike is yanking the hatch up and all I can think is to get off the boat it's on fire. Lol. I start yelling in my best Minnie Mouse voice where is the exit? Brenda and David want out the same door I was just thrown down. I wanted a different option knowing that was the area that might just blow up was. Cole is sitting at the dinette with ear buds in hearing non of this seeing non of this. But when I start climbing on the front couch trying to see if I could squeeze out the hatch he steps out of the dinette and into the cold carpet soaked in the adult beverage and thinking were all trying to get out of the boat that were sinking. He rips out a dinette seat and says here mom this floats. It was not meant to be removed. Brenda stops half way up the stairs and stares at him in disbelief. Btw I wouldn't have fit out the hatch.
David and mike confirmed the boat was not on fire. But that a belt had broke. And the hot engine melted it and was making the smoke. But at this point they found it was the belt that charged the Alternator and cycles the water. And Mike didn't have an extra on board. The engine wouldn't turn over to start since there was no water flow. So we're dead in the water.
Out of adult drinks bc we also forgot to load the beer cooler bc of the loss of flip flop and my over reaction to muddy toes. And 3 adults trying to talk me in to still getting in the boat.
No other boats because its Friday at 1pm. And most normal people are at work. And we're sitting dead smack in the middle of the river.
After 15 mins of talking over game plans we all put on life jackets hook up rope lines to the front of the boat and start to swim to shore. We reached ground 45 mins later.
I really really really hate boats.
True story.
So let me paint the picture. It's a really nice day. Sunny, warm, no clouds. Water smooth and very calm on the Ohio river.
I should of known when I lost my flip flop in the mud I should of turned back. But the lure of fantastic mixed drinks were waiting onboard for me. So I carried on.
I got on the boat and stored my bag in the cabin below. Oh yes this is a 38 ft cabin cruiser. Potty kitchen fridge 2 beds dinette Yep were big pimpin. I fold my clothes and apply my sunscreen while we push off and get underway. Head topside with a drink in hand and take a seat at the bow ( wait the bow is the back right?). Stretch my leg out over the engine hatch and lay my head back and start to enjoy the sun and breeze the moving boat is providing. I raise my head to comment to mike "this boat thing isn't so bad after all" when I see smoke swirling around my feet. At this point I go into full on panic mode I start yelling at mike. "Smoke. Smoke. Mike smoke" he hollers back no thanks I'm good. I've now thrown my drink overboard. And start yelling " Fire FIRE" and Mike shuts the boat down quickly. I do a face plant right into the bench in front of me. Brenda Mikes wife down below drops the adult beverage pitcher from the sudden drop in speed. David comes running up the stairs hits his head on the hatch Mikes not worried about my face, shoves me down the stairs on top of David who at this point is in full on fighting mode. Mike is yanking the hatch up and all I can think is to get off the boat it's on fire. Lol. I start yelling in my best Minnie Mouse voice where is the exit? Brenda and David want out the same door I was just thrown down. I wanted a different option knowing that was the area that might just blow up was. Cole is sitting at the dinette with ear buds in hearing non of this seeing non of this. But when I start climbing on the front couch trying to see if I could squeeze out the hatch he steps out of the dinette and into the cold carpet soaked in the adult beverage and thinking were all trying to get out of the boat that were sinking. He rips out a dinette seat and says here mom this floats. It was not meant to be removed. Brenda stops half way up the stairs and stares at him in disbelief. Btw I wouldn't have fit out the hatch.
David and mike confirmed the boat was not on fire. But that a belt had broke. And the hot engine melted it and was making the smoke. But at this point they found it was the belt that charged the Alternator and cycles the water. And Mike didn't have an extra on board. The engine wouldn't turn over to start since there was no water flow. So we're dead in the water.
Out of adult drinks bc we also forgot to load the beer cooler bc of the loss of flip flop and my over reaction to muddy toes. And 3 adults trying to talk me in to still getting in the boat.
No other boats because its Friday at 1pm. And most normal people are at work. And we're sitting dead smack in the middle of the river.
After 15 mins of talking over game plans we all put on life jackets hook up rope lines to the front of the boat and start to swim to shore. We reached ground 45 mins later.
I really really really hate boats.
True story.
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